I’ve used this blog a lot to dispel the frustrations of dog owners because that’s what they seem to need the more than training. Like most of us during our struggles, we need to know we are not alone and that everything is okay and normal.
What I think gets people bent out of shape the most about their dogs is that they have such high expectations of perfection for their dog. Even with proper training of both the human and the dog, I still hear dissatisfaction among pet owners about the little things their dogs do.
I hear things such as “my dog pulls more at the beginning of the walk than he does at the middle or end of it and I don’t know what to do.” First, as with most dog behavior, ask yourself why your dog does this behavior. The easiest answer is that your dog is really excited to walk. I’m sure what the owner perceives to be annoying behavior started with just pulling the leash out.
Now we ask, is this behavior worth fixing? To me, and for Shimmer, it’s not worth fixing. The pulling lasts five minutes of our 30 or more minute walks. Those five minutes are when my dog is happiest while we’re walking and so I suck it up. She’s not a service dog or any sort of competition dog so I do not need to have my expectations set there.
Or another behavior I hear about often is that “when I come home my dog runs laps around the house and is super excited. How do I get him to calm down?” Let’s follow the procedure here. Why is my dog acting like a fool when I get home? First, and most importantly, the most important thing in your dog’s life was gone and has now returned. You are the center of your dog’s world, try not to forget that.
Next step in our procedure: is the behavior worth fixing? If you have lots of knick-knacks, have joint/balance problems, or any other reason then yes, a redirect for that energy is the perfect solution. Get your dog out to the yard quickly to run or put him in a down-stay for a moment to calm down. If there is no compelling reason though, enjoy the fact that your dog loves you so much that he can’t contain himself.
Let’s consider this final example: “My dog gets nervous when he meets other dogs and won’t play with them. How do i get him to play at the dog park?” Step 1: Why? Your dog could be nervous for any number of reasons. Your dog, like Shimmer, could just not really enjoy the company of other dogs.
Step 2: Is this worth fixing? I would say no, your dog not liking other dogs is not a problem worth fixing in almost all cases. (Note: there is a difference between non-social and anti-social here.) The most important reason I can see to fix a non-social dog is because the owner wants to be social with the dog. See how this is not a real problem that the dog has, but one that the owner has made up?
It comes down to understanding that there is no perfect, ideal dog. Going through these two questions really gets to the heart of how a dog owner and a dog’s relationship works. The self awareness is hard to just tell dog owners to have, which is why we go through this protocol every time a behavior comes up.
Family centered training can sometimes mean putting your dog’s needs before yours. And sometimes it’s just not worth it to change something. My sister’s gossip can bother me sometimes, but it makes her happy to do it at the cost of me being a bit annoyed. The positive outweighs the negative.
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