One of my favorite dog related books I’ve ever read is titled “Culture Clash” by Jean Donaldson. The clash she speaks of is how we apply our human system of morality and social ettiquette to a species which has no clue about those things. The book covers many points but I feel as though the most important point she brings up is how wrong it is for a dog owner to say, “I can tell by that look that he knows what he did was wrong.
Attributing the words good and bad to a dogs behavior does not get the dog anywhere. It’s the same (to me at least) as saying a dog is dominant or submissive. Both attributes are based on flawed logic and misunderstandings. And both can be equally detrimental to how a dog is trained.
The reason why good and bad cannot apply to dog behavior because we are placing moral and ethical value on a dogs behavior. For the dog, a “good” behavior is one that allows the dog to receive the most reward and a “bad” behavior is one that a dog receives punishment for. Jumping, for instance, is a bad behavior by human standards, but it is an amazing and awesome behavior by the dog’s standards. He gets rewarded because people talk to him and play with him. It doesn’t seem like play to us, but pushing the dog around and touching him is play!
Where dogs derive their morality is from biology. Unlike human systems of morality, there are absolute ways to be good for a dog: remove negative stimuli and add positive stimuli. If a behavior does not offer a way to either of those two points, the dog will not do it.
Let’s consider the msot common real world example of how this plays out with people. Let’s say I walk into my house and see Shimmer is chewing on my shoes. If I did not know any better, I would yell at her. “SHIMMER! WHAT A BAD DOG YOU ARE!” and she would then sulk low to the ground, turn her side to me, and try to take a few steps away from me. This is most commonly interpreted as the dog “knowing they did bad.” If we go back to the two criteria, really see it from the dog’s point of view, Shimmer is offering that behavior to me because she knows it will get me to stop yelling and being mean. It’s an appeasement behavior to get you to go away. My dog, in this instance, views me as a negative force that needs to go away.
I want to reemphasize that point. When we apply a human system of morality to domesticated dogs, they view us as negative forces that distribute punishment whenever we see fit. They will view us as malevolent dictators. And that is the opposite of what I stand for. Dogs are family members and I would never want my mom or sister seeing me as a dictator.
The hard part about overcoming this is not the realization that it’s in poor taste. That’s easy to understand. Removing that behavior from yourself, actually practicing what you preach, is the hard part. Abrasive training can borderline on abuse because, if not done perfectly and with absolute purpose, it becomes a stress reliever for the person training the dog.
In grade school, we were taught to manage our stress by hitting a pillow or yelling into it. I tihnk those are both fine stress relievers. Just remember, there is a living being on the other end of the leash. You have your friends, work, and hobbies. Your dog only has you. Don't maar that relationship. Keep it positive. Keep it friendly. And most of all, keep from managing your stress by taking it out on your dog.
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